My favorite show ever.
This is the musical I dreamed about being a part of. I yearned to play Eponine or Cosette. As I got older I realized I could probably pull off Fantine too, I did sing "I Dreamed A Dream" at my senior year theatre concert. But Eponine was MY part. I was Eponine. I know her songs, her parts, her angst at loving a man who would never love her in that way back inside and out. And I would get to die on stage. I always found that to be so romantic. I can sing "On My Own" like no body's business and have used it for several auditions. I wanted to play Eponine and be a part of that show so badly I would practice, practice, practice. I dreamed a dream that one day I would make that dream come true.
But I never did. I never even went so far as to look into auditioning. All because I never really thought I would be good enough. I could have trained and worked to make it come true but I went another direction. I chose a different path. And I think I shall always regret that.
Watching this performance today made me nostalgic for my theatre days. I loved performing and I miss being on stage. Theatre, singing and acting was such a huge part of my life for so many years, to suddenly not be doing it any more feels wrong. Like a part of me is not quite right. Maybe that is why I feel so unsettled, so not like me lately. I am missing an integral part of my soul, my being.
I just don't know how to get theatre back into my life. I would love to be a part of a show again, to perform again. About as close as I get to performing these days is when I manage to get in some karaoking here and there. And that is not quite what I would call performing. I need to find a way to let my musical nature be indulged. Because I feel incomplete without it.
In the meantime, I'm still dreaming the dream of making my theatre dreams come true. Who knows, maybe I'll find my way to the big Broadway stage yet.
That's what dreams are for, right?
3 Deposits in the Crazy Bin:
Crazy dreams are my favorites. Because they're the best when they do come true!
My need to have creativity in my life is one of my biggest challenges since I also need an income. Alas.
25 years?! Oh my God, that makes me feel really, really OLD! Puke.
I think you should just get your ass back out there and start auditioning for musicals again! What harm could it do? If you really want to do it, you have to go for it. Local shows are a perfect place to start. Seriously, DO IT! And don't give up if you don't get cast right away... you know how it is. You gotta just keep believing and working. :-)
OK, I am watching the PBS special myself right now. It's 'intermission' and it's so fun sitting here, singing along with it in my horrible voice. It really IS a great show. Still... that was 25 years ago when it came out?! Holy shit. I'm hyperventilating again.
Hey there! Where are you? Yes, I know I am hassling you about not-blogging, which is something that I always say I won't do. Sorry. But I'm concerned because it's not like you to go this long between posts. Just so you know, I miss reading about you. I hope everything is going OK with your grandfather. And now, Brian. I'm here if you need me! Let me know. {{Hugs!}}
Post a Comment