He had leukemia. Had been in remission for awhile but then it came back and he had a stroke and died.
We may have only gone out twice and then never saw each other again but I still remember him.
In fact, I haven't seen him in over ten years but it still shocked me. I am sad it took me so long to find out. And the fact I found out from the Internet.
Because while I haven't seen him in person, I have seen him on TV and online. Having worked in TV and radio throughout college, I hung out and even dated a few famous people. Most notably, members of boy bands that were all the rage at the time. He was in one of those bands.
We met when he did a concert hosted by the radio station I worked for. I chatted with him before their sound check and the after the sound check and then he made me promise to be near the stage when they performed that night. He was cute and I was young and stupid so I figured, why not. After the show he invited me onto their tour bus where we hung out and had some drinks and played crazy games with his bandmates and crew. There was some kissing and he took my number and I didn't think anything of it until he called me the next day. Apparently they were staying in town a few more days to do some more interviews and prepare for their next tour stop and did I want to go out to dinner? Again, young and stupid, I said sure and we went out. He was really pleasant and sweet but I was apprehensive about becoming a "groupie." Some more kissing occurred and we met up again with his friends and hung out. Very low-key, not what I thought would be a "rock star" date. Two days later I saw him again and again had a pleasant time. But the reality was he was leaving the next day, they were just starting to get big, and I knew I would never see him again. He called me once from the road and then my suspicions were correct. Not one more word from my now more famous beau. I was not surprised.
I followed his career for awhile and then got busy with my own life. It wasn't until a few years ago, when he popped up on a reality show on MTV, that he entered my mind again. I mean, sure, whenever I would hear his songs I would think of him. But it was a fleeting, I was such a silly girl back then, thought. I watched his new show and that's when I first found out he was sick. He was in remission but still, cancer is nothing to mess with. I had the crazy idea of trying to contact him but then squashed that back when I considered the absurdity of him even remembering the little blonde girl he saw a few times so many years ago. Even if I had done more than just kiss him I am sure he would have no recollection of me, such was the wild and crazy life of a boy bander in the 90's.
But now he is gone and I have all this remorse and sadness. More from the fact that I hadn't even known he had gotten sick again and then died. These are silly feelings. Because why would I have known that? It's not like I was in his life now. Hell, my time in his life back then was so blink-and-you-ll-miss-it quick I would have been surprised if he remembered the concert or city he performed in, let alone me.
Still, I think the fact that someone I was intimate with on some level is now gone makes my heart heavy. I don't like losing anyone, even people I only had a brief encounter with. Because even if he didn't remember me, I remember him and how special he made me feel for those few days way back when. Back when I was young and stupid and still full of dreams. Dreams he was living. Being with him made me a part of that for a short while and that was incredibly cool.
Rest in peace.
10 Deposits in the Crazy Bin:
I don't think any death is really that easy. At least you can remember the good times!
Sad for anyone to die before they're ancient and decrepit and ready to go. You have a wonderful memory of him because he made you feel special. That's a nice thing to leave behind.
I'm sorry for your loss. I don't think in anyway you were young and stupid or a groupie... I get that term a lot as you can imagine. Who cares? You're way too hard on your younger self. Just be glad you got to know a nice, brave young fellow, if only for a little while.
Death sucks. period.
Huh. I didn't know most of that. I knew who you must be talking about, because you'd mentioned it before, but at that time you didn't talk about it being any kind of dating relationship... anyway, that's still one of my favorite CDs. Very catchy after all these years. Can't believe none of those other songs ever made it big, because they're great!
I believe that we all enter each others lives for a very special reason. I have a feeling that he would have remembered you.. How very sad that you never crossed paths again..
I am sorry for your loss, losing a friend even from long ago isnt easy.
You need to name drop here, would I have heard of him? :-)
Oh Amanda...how sad! And if I were in your position, I would feel the same way you do. Many years ago...at least 20...I found out that a good high school girlfriend of mine died from breast cancer. Even though I had not seen her since the year after we graduated, all of the times together came rushing back, and I felt so, so sad. Loss is loss, no matter how long it's been. And I just have a feeling he would have remembered you...I do!
I'm with Tonjia...I wish you would share who he was!!! When my aunt was in college, she hung out with The Turtles when they performed at her school. Seeing as how that was so long ago, it would be fun to hear about yours! :)
I'll chime in with everyone else - death always stinks, no matter what. The little brother of a family my family had been close to while I was growing up died suddenly and very publicly a few years after I graduated college (he was drunk at a game in Miami and wandered onto train tracks...and a train came). I hadn't seen or thought about him in years, but to this day, I think of him every time I cross train tracks.
And, I saw the band in question when I was in college - we saw them in Pittsburgh. Could it have been only a few days after your date...?
Lynda: It was one of my more positive experiences with someone famous.
pogo: I got lucky twice that summer. In fact, it probably was the best summer of my life.
lusty: I guess because a lot of people branded me that way I began to think of myself as such. But you are right.
mel: yes it does.
jen: I never said more simply for the fact I didn't like being seen as a groupie as I said above. Even if I didn't feel as such. He was just a nice guy to me.
tonjia: he may have remembered me, we did have the fact we came from the same area in common. His name was Rich and he was the lead singer of LFO.
kim-d: Thanks. It's nice to think I may have been remembered. And who are The Turtles?
SWG: Possible...it was the summer of '99 right after I graduated college. I did a lot of crazy things that summer. Best summer of my life! :)
Yup, that's when I saw them. It's truly bizarre how much our lives must have crossed when we lived in the same vicinity!!!!!
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